Emotionally Retracting

I often find myself reverting back to my emotional state of mind when I was in jr high and high school. At least that's how it feels. I find that I can still be very sensitive when it comes to people not liking my suggestions or ignoring things I've said. I feel like it makes me feel less important and I hate that I do that to myself, because I know that it's truly all in my mind and that if someone doesn't like what I have to say or doesn't notice it's not because they are initially doing that. I know that everyone has their own opinion and that we all love to share our opinion. When it comes to ignoring things I've said I know I mainly get this way when I feel like what I'm saying or asking is important to me. Why don't people see it's important? Am I not wording it with enough emphasises? Just by asking myself these questions is why I feel like I'm reverting back to those days.

In jr high and high school I took everything personal and I constantly felt left out. My friends wouldn't invite me to a lot of things and then they'd come back and talk about it for weeks. I'd also try to have conversations with people but they would make up excuses not to talk to me. I know I was a weird little girl but I always felt like I was annoying everyone, even my friends. So I always wondered what I was doing to make it where people didn't want to hang out with me or talk with me. Those feelings have had a deep impact on how I dealt with a lot of things.

Looking back I realized that I could've been more aggressive when it came to being included. Instead of sitting around moping and waiting for someone to invite me into their group or conversations I could have gone and asked to join. I've also realized that we all have different perspectives, I was so selfish and took it all personal without really looking at the other person's point of view. I try to do that now but there are some times when I don't do that. This is when I feel like I'm back in jr high.

I'm so independent now that it really bothers me that I let people I barely now affect my emotions on how I feel about myself. Worst part is I'm aware that it happens because I feel like throwing mini-temper tantrums (which I don't) but I don't know how to get over these feelings.