Disappointment

Life recently has just been full of random disappointments. Mainly with people.

My own brother has hurt my feelings in a way that is making it hard for me to stay Christlike and forgive him without thinking twice. However, this is the 3rd time he has done something like this to offend me and doesn't realize that his strong words are so hurtful to me. I now have to act like nothing is wrong so I can continue to spend time with my nieces and nephews. In my mind it's absolutely ridiculous and it frustrates me more then anything.

Other people who I felt where supposed to be nonjudgemental towards others have also let me down. Instead of handling things like grown ups they revert back to being teenagers. Hurting a friend of mine. Again I'm sick of that drama. It's so disappointing to get to see people's true colors.

My other disappointment is in myself, I start so many things and I am never going to finish them. Like blogging, I would love to spend my time writing amazing entries that catch people's attention or have a crafty talent. I had to be honest with myself and realize that I didn't have any one thing that would have me stand out amoungst the hundreds of thousands to get me where I want. It's beyond depressing.

I feel that trying to hide my feelings and not being able to be completely honest with others is weighing me down. Why do I give these people any sort of effort. It's even more frustrating that when I do share how I feel I get blown off and ignored. No one especially me likes being unheard. Probably one reason why I have stopped blogging on a regular basis. no one was reading my posts anyway.

With all this disappointment it has lead me to a dark and negative place and I need to kick myself out of it. It's not healthy for anyone around me.